Make it Sustainable
There are a lot of opinions out there about how many words you should write a day. How fast. How many hours you should spend in your office, hunched over your keyboard, banging out words until your finger joints lock up. About what the perfect balance is between writing and life, and how often you should stop and sip from the well of sparkalay creative magic that imbues you with the power to continue on.
I personally think the answers to all of those questions if completely subjective. It’s going to be different for every person.
The question I ask myself isn’t so much ‘how much should I do? How much should I not do?’ it’s ‘what is sustainable for me?’ I think it’s important to know yourself. In fact, I think very often when making business decisions the key is knowing yourself. What will make you happy. What will make you comfortable. And what will make you have an extreme meltdown of epic proportions and curl up into a ball of angst, never to unball.
I think periods of stress are normal. Periods of taking on way more than you can handle are…normal. I don’t care if you’re talking writing or a different sort of job, or family life. This past few weeks has been like that for me in terms of family. My mother, who helps me a lot with the kids, was gone for two weeks, at the same time my husband was working extra hours. And then just a couple of days after she got home, we all traveled north to help my brother move into his first place (which is hours and hours from us!! SOB) and in between that I had a few specialty Dr appointments for the kids, planned a going away party for my brother, and dealt with a sick kid.
THANK GOD that’s not my life every day. I could handle it, because it wasn’t forever and I knew that. But the idea of doing that every day for…forever would defeat me pretty quickly!
I think writing is the same. There’s surges of insanity, sure, but I think it’s important that the general pace of it, and what you expect from yourself on a daily basis, isn’t going to fry your brain. And to answer what the right pace is means looking at yourself, not other people.
It’s impossible, I think, to really get an idea of how much someone else is working and how much they have on their plate unless they walk you through their day. Which means it’s really impossible to try and hold yourself to what someone else is doing, or conversely, judge them for what you think they’re not doing.
I know I say this a lot but you have to look at yourself, and not others. It’s fine to get advice from other people, and it’s fine to try and change your process because you like the sound of someone else’s. Fine to increase your productivity or step it back. But it’s not fine when the angst over it becomes self-defeating.
It’s very difficult to write when you’ve had to move your personal homeland security threat level to red and your family is dodging you, trying to escape verbal execution. 
I’m all about competition. I have a competitive nature. But what I try to do is make myself my competition. I make my work, my productivity, or lack of it, my career choices, about me, and not about what someone else is doing. Taking on that mindset has really helped me eliminate a lot of stress. It helps to filter out the voices telling me: YOU SHOULD DO THIS, SHE DOES IT! Or…WHY DID SHE GET THAT AND I DIDN’T!? (notice I said it helps…it doesn’t eliminate. But hey, I’m only human. 😉 )
This isn’t a sprint. I would love to write until I die, and may that be many decades from now. That means finding happiness in what I do is REALLY REALLY important. That means enjoying my pace and workload is really, really important.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, I encourage you to look at yourself, and how YOU can make things for workable for you. Because your life is your own, not anyone else’s. Shut out the outside influences for a bit (of which there is no shortage!) and ask yourself what YOU want. Your happiness is important. Don’t underestimate the importance of your well-being.
Comments
8 Responses | TrackBack URL | Comments Feed
Hope things settle down into less overwhelming soon.
This is just what I needed to read b/c it’s so true in life as it is in writing. I have a 3 year old son and I am expecting Number 2 son any day now.
Many people have suggested that we should “try for a girl” next or “you’ll want another one soon” and argue with me when I say our family is going to be complete after this. Maybe it’s just the pregnancy hormones talking, but I kind of want to smack some of them 😉
Not that there’s anything wrong with having girls or having more than two children! Lots more if that’s what you want!
I think those things are great for other people and if our life had worked out differently, maybe that would be right for me and my husband. Before we had any kids, two sounded good and when we had our first son, we waited a while and re-assessed our emotions, finances, everything. Our first son is in many ways a delight, but he has special needs and that was also something we wanted to think long and hard about.
We decided just one more was still right. And when strangers or almost strangers make the “try for a girl” comments, I find it easy to smile and say something bland, but when people who know me well and have seen the struggles we’ve had getting help for number one son say something similar. . . whew, let’s just say I take it waaaaaay too personally. Going to have to remind myself it’s all about what’s sustainable for us.
Thank you for the timely reminder. I have been feeling rather overwhelmed today. Panicking about getting my RNA New Writers’ Scheme manuscript finished and not being able to write anything as a result. I’m off to watch a film, have a cup of tea and relax. I’ll live to write another day! Mx
I just recently adjusted my writing schedule for weekends, where I’d always schedule loads of time as writing time, but couldn’t actually write for all that time (at least not without deadline pressure!) Then I’d feel guilty for wasting some of the time. So I’ve cut down the writing session and yet find I still get the same amount of words down or editing done. There is a saying “work expands to fill the time available”, which seems to be true in my case! Anyway. the new schedule seems to be much more sustainable and less guilt inducing.
Jill, no one parents your children but you, so of course you’re the only one who knows what you can handle! People say stupid things, but, and I suppose this could be pregnancy hormones too, it seems like they’re stupider when you’re pregnant. Having a special needs child is tricky (I know how it is) and it changes the dynamic of everything. Ultimately, it’s your life, and you have to live it the best way possible for yourself.
Morton, enjoy your tea!
Becky, that’s SO true and something I’ve found myself. Unlimited time produces guilt and faffing while often being under the gun for a shorter amount of time gets more done!
Well, I’m bad. I always think it’s a race. But that’s because I’ve never had any sort of patience. Even the past few years haven’t taught me. I do try and shut out other influences but sometimes that only leaves me with my own thoughts and sometimes they’re not good ones. Sigh. The up side is that it makes me write more! 🙂
As long as you keep going. 🙂
[…] Make it Sustainable Maisey Yates talks about building a sustainable writing routine that works for you. There are a lot of opinions out there about how many words you should write a day. How fast. How many house you should spend in your office, hunched over your keyboard, banging out words until your finger joints lock up. About what the perfect balance is between writing and life, and how often you should stop and sip from the well of sparkalay creative magic that imbues you with the power to continue on. […]
Abusive Relationship
Make it Sustainable – Maisey Yates