Adding the Sparkle, or, The Very Best Part

I’m sort of between projects right now (new contract means writing some synopses. And also I’m waiting for something sekrit that I will share with you later) so I was struggling to think of a craft post to write. Usually, I blog about what I’m dealing with in my writing personally, and try to reinforce what I KNOW I KNOW by writing it down here.

But since I’m not currently angsting away writing a book, and since I’m not the authority on synopses in any way shape or form (fun fact: the synopsis I sent to my editor last night contained the words thrust, parlayed and cutthroat. It is not about pirates) I’ve decided to blog about the last thing I did, which was revisions for Mr. Personality.

I have oft joked that I am The Revision Queen. (I’ll take my tiaras wherever I can get them.) What you can take away from this is that I have done a lot of revisions. Like, lots. Three of them have been rewrites, one of which resulted in me getting hives all over my body. *angst angst angst* (but, Maisey, you ask, were there cookies? YUH HUH.)

It used to be that I would worry about that. How big the revisions would be, and how bad, and maybe I should do this so I don’t get big revisions, or maybe I shouldn’t have my hero do that because my editor might say that he’s mean, or…or…

A little while ago, my thought process changed in regards to revisions. I’m not sure why or what happened. I’ve always known that it’s the revisions that make the book. I’ve always believed that and enjoyed getting feedback (once I’ve picked myself up off the floor) and applying it.

Whenever I would get revisions though, I would feel gobsmacked and like I had failed the book and my editor in some way. I remember my dad saying to me, I think you need to accept that this is a part of the process just like writing a book in the first place.

So, at least a year after he said that to me, it sunk in. Part of that sinking in came during a phone call with my editor when I said (for the hundredth time) “I was afraid I was taking it too far.” And she said: I think we always have this conversation. You say you were afraid of going too far and I tell you that you didn’t go far enough.

From there, I started realizing that a huge reason I pulled myself back while writing was the fear of not ‘doing it right’. So when something felt risky…I adjusted.

It wasn’t like one day I sat down and though…who cares if I get revisions? I think the feeling shift was too subtle. But a couple of books back I remember telling a CP: Well, if I do it wrong I can fix it later. It always comes together in revisions anyway.

And then I realized that I DID feel that way. That the idea of revisions didn’t fill me with dread. That I wasn’t afraid of having done it wrong.

I had a particularly amazing round of revisions on my October UK book, A Game of Vows that only solidified my change in thought on the subject. With my editor’s feedback I found a scene that, in my mind, is the most important scene in the whole book, and it’s one I would have missed without going through the revision process.

And so I thought again: Why do I fear this part of the process? It’s the best part. It’s what makes it sparkle.

Not only that, but what I’ve found is that the scenes that scare me, the ones that challenge me, feel too weird, too outside my comfort zone that, when embraced, are what my editor feel is strongest in the book.

For me, personally, accepting the possibility of ‘failing’, has freed me up to write better books the first time around. And seeing revisions as part of the process, not something I HAVE to do, not something I’d like to avoid, but an integral part that is designed to help me put out the BEST BOOK POSSIBLE, has changed…everything.

It’s my chance to go back and make it BETTER. My chance to make it the best it can be. My chance to add the sparkle.

Also maybe eat cookies.