Confidence….!
Elusive thing confidence. Oh, I have it sometimes when I get positive feedback, when I sell a book…but then…a not so good revision letter…a long time between good feedback…and I lose it.
And then it’s easy to sit there and question every word you write. Every. Word. And that makes things slow and heck-a painful when you’re trying to write.
That’s where I’m at now. Waiting about two weeks to hear back on a partial that was not well received way back before conference (conference sort of threw a wrench in the time frame of this book and it is now The Book That Never Ends).
I’ve been working on two proposals while I wait (You remember, the sekrit ones) and it’s been very hard to write them when I’m suffering (whimper) from a complete lack of…well, that confidence stuff!
(and do you hear me whining about waiting TWO WEEKS? Being published makes you a wuss.)
So what do we do when this happens, huh? Because it happens to all of us, I think, over big things, like rejections and major revisions, and over little things, like a snippy comment from a relative.
I’ve been thinking…and I’m hoping I’m right…that maybe it’s more about having some faith in ourselves and trusting our instincts, instead of feeling confident.
Today, when I sit down and write, I’m just going to do it. And I’m not going to question EVERY word. I’m just not. I’ll fix it later if I have to, but in my current frame of mind nothing is good enough with means I’m getting nothing done!
Sometimes we have to throw a little caution to the wind and throw the words on the paper. And maybe it will be crap. But maybe it wil be great, or maybe it will be crap that can be made great. Either way, it has to get done.
What do you do when your confidence goes AWOL?
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Many of us experienced this. I went through it when I discover ‘writing rules’. I started to write in a professional manner after successfully publishing free online stories. I got an amazing positive feedback. However, my confidence lasted until I read about ‘showing vs. telling, GMC and POV. It froze my creativity. I took down my stories, embarrassed of what I dared to publish. Eventually, I started to write promising to revise it later. My writing flew again.
When I cannot write, I read. It always inspires me to write. Even if what I’m reading is my own writing. In order to do that, you must become as egomaniacal as me. Only aspiring writer I know who would read her own stuff and think is awesome, so good, I must write some more. It works to break the writer’s block, having to make an effort to stop reading my book, and finish revising it. Hoping one day, some editor/readers agree about its excellency.
Maisey, listen to music, watch a movie, and take a break for a few hours. Anything that helps you to relax.
Ask what is stopping you? You don’t even have to share with us, but you need to know the answer, because it might be your next book. One which hasn’t been proposed yet.
Girl, you did it before, I’m positive you will do it again, even better.
Reading *is* inspiring. I just started reading Wild Fling Or A Wedding Ring? by Mira Lyn Kelly and I lurves it!
Really, my confidence is just fragile enough to get shaken by this long of a time without feedback from my ed. It’s been over a month since I got revisions on the partial, and because of conference it isn’t resolved yet. So I’m still living in ‘my wip sucks’ land.
LOL on being egomaniacal.
I’m going to work on one of the proposals today and try to just let words fly. They aren’t due for so long, there isn’t pressure for them to be perfect. 🙂
I could have been writing this post not too long ago. I’d gone through several rounds of having proposal rejected by all the NY houses, and was beginning to believe maybe I really DID just suck. Every time I’d get my mojo back, I’d write the next thing and it, too, would be rejected. Pretty disheartening.
So, how did/do I get over it? I don’t–not really. I am one of those writers who has to feel it’s almost all pretty much perfect on the first draft or I just can’t go on. It’s impossible for me to write a scene that I know isn’t working, because I’m very linear and really have to build one scene on the next. If the one I’m writing isn’t working and I know it, how can I possibly write the next or the next or the next?
I’m NEVER confident about my abilities, but I’ve also heard that it’s only competent people who worry about their performance (incompetent people are too incompetent to realize they’re incompetent, lol). Most importantly, I have managed to get my lack of confidence to stop sucking the fun out of writing. Quite simply, I just decided that I would write everything from beginning to end and think about whether or not it would sell and where after I was done. I don’t plan to show anything to my agent again until I have a full manuscript to shop. And at that point, I guess I’ll have to be prepared for the rejections to suck the confidence right out of me again.
But in the meantime, I’m having a fabulous time writing the current WIP, because I’ve stopped worrying about whether it’s “good enough” for anyone else and just worrying about whether it’s good enough for me.
Hey you.
Gotta tell you Maisey – you’ve become the poster girl for achieving the dream as far as I’m concerned, especially since reading your FABULOUS debut. You have serious talent – jeez lady, you made it all the way from slush to contract, and you did that by being an EXCELLENT writer. Look back at those pics of you at conference with all of your colleagues, and feel proud to know that you made it. Plus -remember it’s holiday time so the ed’s are stretched, then there’s the fast track month and the comp to organise too… I’m sure you’ll get good news soon.
You’ve finally burst into the spot light after a long anxious wait, so maybe a confidence wobble is par for the course. You’re only allowed a wobble mind – I want to see you back to your super sassy self tomorrow. Deal?
What Joanne said. And welcome to ‘wip sucks land’. I’ve been living there for eight months now. Sorry, just had to get that in there. 😉
You rock. And your writing rocks. You have the instinct – after selling five books, it’s still there. Just turn off the doubts and go for it.
And as for me and what I do? I blog about it, whine, do more whining, and then try and write. Sigh.
Jackie B, I think it’s part of my process. And I write a complete first draft myself, linear, and often that’s where my passion goes, then at round two, where I am now, I have a disconnect between me and my MS, but usually that’s what allows me to revise it as much as I need to.
Joanne, I feel thoroughly scolded and somehow…better. I’m very glad you enjoyed the book. And I think wanting to please, not only my editor, not only myself, but a readership now, is probably where some of the new anxiety comes in. 🙂 But having good feedback has been wonderful and priceless!
Jackie A, I know you have. And it sucks. Whenever I whine I ought to remember that.
Perspective is a very personal thing and I think we each gain our own in very different ways so I won’t even begin to suggest how to get some for yourself. I have to agree with Joanne, looking at where you are and what you’ve achieved is breathtaking. You’re our Cinderella story (a lovely girl we can picture as our BFF) whose fairy godeditor (ooh now that could get me into trouble) waved her magic pen and whisked you away to the M&B castle where you will live HEA as a literary princess.
Now if none of that boosts your flagging spirits, I suggest you visit a few websites and read how other people deal with your current predicament. That’s what I do…..actually I could recommend this great site, Seven Sassy Sisters – perhaps you’ve heard of it? *winks* They’re fabulous. You’re fabulous. I’m fabulous. Confidence – baby you’ve got it in spades!
LOL! I should have names this post ‘cry for attention’. Joni, that image has made me feel much better. 🙂
Ah yes, the sassy sisters…and the man that hijacked my peek of the week! 😀
and fairy godeditor is very good! She did indeed turn my MS from a pumpkin into a carriage.
All right ladies, I feel boosted. I am going to shut down the netz and just write.
I’m nodding away at all the posts above. Maisey, you’ve definitely got the talent to warrant an overdose of confidence so just take a deep breath and get words down. Any words. Words you can shape and polish later!
Joanna, please be assured that you’re not the only one who uses their own work to inspire and motivate them. I do that too… it’s like livng proof that I CAN write. It’s never perfect and I’m always tempted to edit as I re-read, but at least it’s vaguely coherent 🙂
Oh, and when I’m totally lost and have zero confidence I usually post chapters for Maisey. Reading Blaze is such a hardship but (good sister that she is) she does it anyway!
Snippy relatives need a good smack (yes, that’s right children, resort to violence).
I love reading craft books, they always inspire me to get in there and work.
Maisey, you’re more than entitled to feel like this from time to time. Being a woman you have a right to feel anything at any given time, it’s as simple as that. We only want you to hurry along so you can write more incredible books, ie that way we can buy them and read them and love them.
Lacey, I like a woman who condones violence, LOL!!
Chelsea, that’s what I do when I need a boost! Post to the group! And Aideen did give me a good boost re the WIP, but I’m just a whiny baby this week!
Lacey, let the record show I have no snippy relatives. Just an example. But I do agree…violence is the answer.
Aideen, you awesome, you know?
Yes! Maisey is my heroine in the publishing world!
Chelsea, thanks for sharing, it’s great to know I’m not the only one.
LOL…a heroine huh? That makes me smile.
Hello Maisey darling.
I’ve been sent here by the great Jo Terrero (wave to Jo) because we’ve been discussing exactly the same thing. What is confidence, how do you get it, where does it go when you lose it and how can you find it again. Hmm.
I think confidence is being courageous to write even when you think what you write is rubbish. Because you can always go back and fix it. Tell your internal editor to please ‘shut up’. The thing I’ve noticed is that people, like yourself, who go through self doubt and overanalysis of each.and.every.word. Are in fact, incredibly talented and successful.
Remember you are on a journey, sometimes the road ahead is clear with blue skies and you drive with top down singing at the top of your lungs to Lady Gaga (or whatever). Other days its hailstones with potholes, you have a flat tyre and all you get on the radio is Bolero – by which time you want to throw yourself into the volcano too!! Remember the blue skies will return!
Good luck hun and keep typing! Now if only I could take my own advice!!
Christine
xx
I fake it. Like you, mine seems to wax and wan and if I followed that roller coaster I’d be a mess… not to mention unproductive. So I fake it and take one step, one word, after another.
Christine, ain’t it the truth? Some days it’s sunny skies…the next…meh. But it doesn’t change what has to be done…the writing has to be done. 🙂
Lynne, that’s the thing, fake it till it comes back. 😀