Planes, Trains and Cluttering Up My Manuscript
I’ve done it again. And I don’t mean that in a triumphant sort of way. I mentioned that I was working on revisions for book five (of which the partial is now with my editor…hopefully fixed.) and now I would like to talk you through the mistakes I made, that you, dear readers, will not do the same. 🙂
First mistake? My setting became the star. I had this idea, you see. A private train car. *squee* So glamorous! And they were going to ride it through Switzerland and there would be diamonds!! *pants*
And what ended up happening? Well…my pacing was all kinds of off because I wanted them to get in that train and travel, baby!! Because the train was so important!!
(what would Freud say about a train starring in my manuscript? Just wondering…)
:-/
What don’t I have in this new draft that’s sitting on my editor’s desk?
*cries*
The train.
Turns out I didn’t need it. It was a gimmick. And I was relying on it to bring sparkle to my story. What I needed was for my characters to sparkle and…meh…they didn’t either.
Which brings us to my next mistake: The heroine.
Poor girl. Her brother had shipped her off to Switzerland until a sex scandal with her name attached was forgotten about by the press and public. But while she’s there…the hero finds her…and voila! We have a woman at the mercy of all the powerful men in her life.
*headdesk*
Of course, I didn’t see it that way. Nope. But that doesn’t change the fact that that’s what I had.
And then of course…I had also take my handy-dandy manuscript bedazzler to the poor thing.
Private train? Check. Jewels? Heckyeah! The heroine modeling for the jewels?? Bring it, baby!!
*pick* *pick* *pick*
I had to say bye to my bedazzlement.
I believe it was Coco Chanel who said you should look in the mirror before you leave the house and take off one accessory. And I believe it’s Maisey Yates who should look at her manuscripts before she sends them off to her editor and remove a ‘thing’.
Because when the things are gone…you have characters. A man and a woman. The train wasn’t their conflict. Her being a model wasn’t the conflict. Her being involved in a scandal wasn’t even the conflict.
So where was the conflict?
Buried.
But without all the stuff…that’s when you start seeing what you really have to work with. And then, a little sparkle is okay.
But don’t forget what the story is really about.
*hint* It’s NOT the train.
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LOL, Maisey, I know what you’re going through! It’s so hard to get rid of those little things you love. Sometimes I’ve been writing a ms and realize I just have a collection of cool (to me!) scenes, rather than a story with a heart and a deep emotional conflict. And then I have to let some or even all of those scenes go (flashback to the book I scrapped at 47,000 words… nightmare!!) Anyway it sounds like you’re in the right place with it now, so happy writing!
And sometimes it’s hard to remember that just because *I* get what I’m saying…doesn’t mean everyone else does. I know my conflict, so I don’t realize the “things” are keeping the reader from it.
Glad to know I’m not the only one…
And also, thanks for the vote of confidence. I hope I fixed it, but we’ll see when my editor gets back to me…
Maisey, that’s so funny – and so true. I had a wedding in my current MS. It wasn’t even the heroine’s, it was her sister’s. I had the colors, dresses, flowers all described in detail. I had them at the bridal boutique trying on dresses…I had everything but scenes with the hero and heroine about their conflict.
Sometime we don’t see the forest for the trees.
Anne, sounds like there are many of us with that tendency! I find I get bad when I research something. Then I spend an unncessary half page telling people ALL about what I learned.
*sigh*
I’m sure it was a lovely wedding!
Oh but I love the train! The train looks gorgeous!
Poor Maisey getting rid of the diamonds would have hurt 🙂
*sigh* It was Lacey. It was. WAH!!!
*whispers* I kept the diamonds.
Maisey
Once again I am able to avoid a huge mistake because you pointed it out before it was too late. I was reading about your train and I thought OMG it’s the penthouse! My H owns a truly stunning penthouse – so stunning I told Husband that I would move to Sydney if he bought it for me (something I had previous sworn never to do) but now I know it has to go. Lucky for me I gave myself permission to write a fluffy first draft before getting snippy with it and cutting half of it. The penthouse was lovely though (http://www.thecovesydney.com/cove.html) see? I think they should rename it The Covet.
Drats! iPad won’t let me view the page…will as soon as I get to the Hubby’s PC.
It’s so easy to do…especially with Presents/MH because they’re SO location/setting specific. And you get married to all these little things in your MS that set this scene in your head. And some of it’s good, but it’s when it’s in control, and when you’re doing things that don’t advance anything or reveal conflict, that’s when you have a problem!
I have to say, so many times, I get a little flash of inspiration that starts an MS (the train…The Big Island in Hawaii…terrorists…) and that’s what I lose by the time I’m in the final draft!
OMG, Maisey. Great post and I soooo know what you mean. My story was taken over, like Anne’s, by a wedding. Of course, me being the stubborn person that I am, will not given up on this setting.
It is about the h/h. All the time. The setting is just a placeholder in a sense.
Abbi 🙂
Yeah! That’s pretty much true. But it’s so hard to let go of the ‘things’ because sometimes it’s that wedding, or the train, that inspired us in the first place! But at a certain point…we don’t need them. We have character!! 😀