The Power of Words
This isn’t so much about the power we have in words as writers. It’s more about the power words that have been spoken to us seem to have over our lives.
My parents are extremely supportive. When I was born, my mom spelled my name how she did because she liked the way it looked written down. And just in case I ever…wrote a book or something, she wanted to make sure I had a name that looked nice in print. Whenever my dad would hear about kids, teenagers, etc having books published he would say, ‘that could be you if you would finish something.’ And I would think…Right. Who ACTUALLY writes books for a living? No one REALLY gets to do that. But I always loved writing and I was always interested. My mom used to take me to these crazy, hippie dippy writer’s conferences (not on purpose, it’s just that that’s what they ended up being when we got there!) and she would sit through everything with me, even though she had no personal interest in writing.
When I said I wanted to write a romance novel, a Presents, my husband was behind me, 100%. Did he REALLY think I’d do it? I don’t know. But he said he was sure I could. And he helped me do it. I didn’t have a critique group then, I wasn’t a member of RWA…to be honest, I didn’t know what RWA was. So it was my husband who sat on the bed with me, surrounded by printed pages, and helped me mark everything up and make notes and get everything polished before I sent in my submission. (and it’s my husband who, to this day, won’t let me forget about some of the truly awful scenes that were in that first iteration of the book.)
And when I sold, everyone in my family was SO excited.
The support that I’ve had from moment one of my life has obviously been an important part of my journey, and I am so blessed to have it.
In contrast writing friend of mine just mentioned something her father said to her when she was young about her writing not being up to standard. I know her, and I see her carry this around with her. I see the power it’s had.
The words people speak into your life, especially influential people, have a lasting effect. There is no denying that. However, for all the support my parents gave me, they couldn’t MAKE me succeed. Yes, their confidence bolstered mine. But they couldn’t make me write the book, or submit it. They couldn’t make me put in the work, and they couldn’t do it for me.
And the people in YOUR life who have said negative things to you can’t stop you. Words do have power. And when you’re coming from a place with no support, from a place where someone has disrespected and degraded you, I know you have more to overcome than I can even begin to understand.
But those people don’t get the final say. They don’t get to hold you back. You have a purpose, and you have gifts, and no one has the right to discourage you from those things. And their words don’t deserve to carry weight.
I don’t know who needed this today, but I felt like someone did. 😉
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What an inspiring, true, beautiful post! You are so right – words can hurt or inspire, but deep inside is what it takes to truly succeed. Love it -thanks for sharing!
Thank you – lovely post.
What a lovely post, thanks Maisie 🙂
Jennifer, thank you! And you said it well. It’s what’s inside.
Sabrina, you’re very welcome!
Susie, thank you…and you’re welcome!
My ex bought me my first computer. I had been playing around with writing for years, but did it in private (as in when he wasn’t around). So I thought him buying me the computer was his way of supporting me. Then we split and I found out later from a friend of his that he thought ‘writing is stupid’.
Flash forward two years ago (after being split for too many years to mention). I’m outside caulking a window and this guy pulls up and gets out. I didn’t know who it was at first. It was the ex. He told me what he was up to and asks me ‘you still a hermit’. I didn’t bother to explain that yeah, I was a hermit because I’ve been writing. He wouldn’t get it so why waste my breath on trying to explain to him who I really was.
It took me years after the split to write often and finish one and start another and not when I felt the urge. For the past 4 years I’ve been writing steadily than I ever had before.
So yeah, the power of someone else’s words can affect you. It took me awhile to let those words go but I can say I did.
What a gorgeous post. I think sometimes what’s not said directly, but inferred, can be just as damaging. Undercurrents of doubt are hard to ignore, and even harder to address because they haven’t actually been voiced. It’s possible that success is the answer 😉
Lovely post, Maisey. I have an incredibly supportive family. Sometimes though I don’t tell them about the Rs because – my mother especially – they get just as upset about them as I do! My husband on the other hand just shrugs the Rs off. He’s SO certain I’ll get there that it’s like ‘why are you upset? You know you’ll be accepted eventually’. Drives me insane!! 🙂
Marcie, first of all, hugs. Second of all, I’m proud of you. For following your dreams. For doing what you love. And for putting the words behind you.
Robyn, agreed. On all counts. Success is the answer.
Jackie, Dr. Jax loves you. 😉 and also, bless your poor mom!! Hooray for a supportive family…even if sometimes it piles on its own kind of pressure.
Aw, Maisey, you made me cry! I’m sure a lot of people needed to hear that and will find a blessing in your words.
Hugs to everyone experiencing doubt and discouragement.
Living well and doing what each of us knows in our heart is right for us, no matter what anyone told us otherwise, is definitely the best and only satisfying revenge. Continuing to give them power over us by making ourselves small makes everyone lose out- them for being so tied up in their own limitations they couldn’t see what a precious gift of a human being they had in front of them, and us for letting them make us choose to become less than we can be.
It’s taken a long time but I’ve learned it- being small doesn’t make those people who try to make us smaller love and accept us any more than they do. Stepping into the most of who we are just might.
And if it doesn’t, hey, we haven’t lost anything we had to being with. Plus we’ve gained our best selves.
Perfect, Autumn. I couldn’t say it better. Sorry I made you cry though!
Lovely post, Maisey. So insightful and inspiring. Thanks!
Me. I needed it today. Somehow you knew. And now I’m crying. As I sit here staring at my first contract, I should be elated at the timeline to publishing that is in front of me. Instead, I’ve been plagued by the fear of disappointing my friends, my family, my publisher, everyone. The voice in my head that tells me I’m not good enough has drowned out the chorus of fearless cheerleaders that encouraged me to send my submissions.
I needed this today. I’ll probably need it tomorrow, too. But one day I hope to have your wisdom and write this post for someone else who needs it.
Thank you <3
OK not crying. Just feeling soooo much. And so touched. And have much to think about. Honestly, Maisey, you could always write self help. If the romances don’t sell (ROFL). Thanks for one of the most wonderful blogs ever…
I needed it! I entered NV last year and though I had about 100 lovely, supportive comments, I received one which stung. I pondered whether to ditch the story completely and felt that I would never make it as a writer. Luckily, the lovely ladies on Harelquin encouraged me and I subbed the partial to M & B. I received a revise and resubmit from one of the editiors last month and I did it. I know it could still be a no, I’ve prepared myself for it, but if I’d listened to that negative comment I would never have received the opportunity. I know where you’re coming from. And I’m glad you have the support of your family.
x
Thank you, Nas.
Annabelle, congratulations to you on your contract! (had to be said first!) And second…it’s so hard to drown out the doubts sometimes. I find that, sometimes, when news is especially good…I struggle with them the most. But it’s normal, if nothing else. I think we all feel it. And even though that doesn’t make it go away, at least you know there are people who share it with you.
Kathryn, I don’t think ‘they’d’ let me write self help books. 😉 But I am glad this post spoke to people.
Aimee, hooray for submitting! And best of luck with your revisions!
I don’t think “someone” needed this post, I think 100 someones needed this post! I can’t say I wasn’t supported, but every attempt I’ve made that didn’t fit the mold (direct sales career, writing romance) was met with a non-committal “hmm.” While my ‘rents aren’t lobbing insults at me, I still never really felt like anyone was gloating, “Isn’t she the greatest?” Alas, these things have a way of making me work hard because I’m stubborn. I’m out to prove I can do it. I refuse to believe I have to settle in this life. But the fight to “impress” the perpetually unimpressed is always there. I’ve always wanted my ‘rents to be proud of me, yet sometimes feel like I fall dreadfully short. I’ve realized recently that it is ME who has set up that roadblock. Great post, Maisey! And good for you for recognizing how valuable your parents are in your successes! 🙂
[…] Yates wrote this in her blog yesterday, in response to me sharing that story about dad and the book I made him – The words people […]
Fabulous post Maisey…. I think all of us took a little something out of that!
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