Paranoia Jones and My Attempt At Rational Thought
My altar ego is out in full force. Paranoia Jones is in the building. I mean paranoia like whoa. Like, every time my email chimes I jump like a scared little rabbit. I think it’s a common affliction for us easily spooked and needy writers.
You might even know the drill. You finish polishing up your MS and HOT BISCUITS it is AWESOME. It is the Best Thing You Have Ever Written. More than that, it might be the best thing anyone has ever written. Twain? Amateur. Hemingway? Drunk amateur. You, you’re the real deal.
Then you take a deep breath…and you hit send. And the countdown begins. The longer you wait for a response, the more convinced you become that your MS transformed itself from the literary equivalent of golden unicorn tears into a fire-breathing soul-destroying suck demon that burned the editor/agent’s retinas who had the misfortune of opening it. Yes, in your mind, your MS has become the Ark of the Covenant and your editor has become the Na…eek. That analogy just broke down. Anyway…melting eyeballs.
This is basic author math. Confidence + Submission + Time = 14 1/2 Pints of Ben N Jerry’s Chubby Hubby in one sitting.
Paranoia Jones is also particular susceptible to Doubt Crows. 
Whether you’re just starting out, or you’ve weathered the submission path many times, paranoia can happen. Doubt crows can start pecking at your brain. It makes it hard to write. It makes it hard to not snap at your family. It makes it hard to do much of anything but sit in front of your inbox and eat cookies.
But paranoia doesn’t have to win. More importantly, it can’t. Because, for many writers, this is part of it. You put it on the page, all of it, blood, sweat and tears, and sometimes it’s still not enough. It’s a part of the gig.
So before Paranoia overtakes me completely, let me give you a few Rationally Minded Points for when you’re feeling like…well, like my friend Paranoia Jones up there.
1. Your MS is the same MS it was when you sent it. That part that made you cry? It doesn’t suck now just because it’s been sitting on someone’s desk for a while.
2. Longer wait times are often a better sign. Rejections are often quick and painless. For the person writing them. MSs that have potential take longer to evaluate.
3. Rejection isn’t the end. Rejection can be a chance to learn, a chance to grow. If nothing else, it’s a chance to practice picking yourself up and brushing yourself off. There will always be more MSs. There are more publishers. More editors. More chances.
4. Revisions rock. I’ve never EVER wanted to go back to the original version of a book. If my editor thinks it could be stronger, than it could be stronger. And even if it’s more work, it will be work that’s well worth it. Because you want to put out the BEST FREAKING BOOK YOU CAN EVERY TIME. Yeah, boy. (<— this was spoken like Flava Flav in my head. I think that might make it less cool… o_O)
5. Doubt Crows aren’t real. It’s just your subconscious being a jerk. Tell it to shut up. (SUCK IT, DOUBT CROW!!)
6. Keep writing during the wait. It helped me get to the point where I could handle the revisions my editor gave me on that first MS. That experience of constructing a MS from beginning to end was essential. (even though I will not be submitting those MSs…ever. They taught me TONS)
7. Editors, Agents etc do not say nice things about your work to salve your ego. If an editor or agent requested something from you, if they take the time to say nice things about your writing in a revision or rejection letter THEY MEAN IT.
8. You’re good enough, you’re smart enough and gosh darnit, people like you.
Those were my Rational Thoughts. I’m all out of them for now. If you can think of any more…feel free to leave them below. Or just share your paranoia.
I’m off to try and take my mind of my continued waiting. *puts on hat* *eats cookies* *sings* Bah buh duh buh bah buh duh….
Comments
18 Responses | TrackBack URL | Comments Feed
Doubt cows.
I just looked up Ben N Jerry’s Chubby Hubby and then saw all the other flavors. Why isn’t there a Ben N Jerry’s here? WHYYYYY?
Love this post Maisey. Quite often in my house there’s not a rational thought in the building! Hmm…maybe I should worry about that!
Doubt Crows circle every day in this house! Did you draw those cartoons? If so, is there no end to your talents? Writer, singer and artist ((bows)) – way to go Maisey! Caroline x
Ashley, moo
Lacey, weird confession: I’ve never had Ben N Jerry’s. My mom used to say it was too expensive. Ergo, in my head in remains too expensive. *shrugs*
Susan, rational thought is overrated. Cookie?
Caroline, I did draw them. If ever you need fine stick figure art done, I am your girl.
I’d LOVE some revisions right now. Hell, I’d settle for anything (but not an R cos that would suck).
Gotta love Ben N Jerry’s, especially Phish Food. It beats double chocolate cookies any day and helps with the paranoia.
Jackie, I’d love a revision letter too, even a huge one. If only dreams came true…
:o)
Sometimes, it’s number eight that can pull me down the most. If I don’t think I’m good enough, I start to think that no one else thinks I’m good enough, or likes me for that matter, and…well, how am I ever going to get my head out from under that pillow thinking like that?? Doubt crows are bastards.
Your pictures on the other hand, are rockin’ 🙂
It’s probably a good thing I don’t have Ben N Jerry’s my butt is already big enough from the ice cream range I currently have 😉 Isn’t it interesting how something things just stick with you from your childhood?
P.S. I think your pictures are rockin’ too.
I’m very glad I’m in a genre that’s published by small presses with a pretty quick turnaround, because if I had to wait for months and months I’d have talked myself into a straight jacket by the time I got a reply.
I think it’s key after sending the MS not to look at it while waiting for an answer. Because I’ll definitely spot things to change and that’s just going to make me even more paranoid.
“fire-breathing soul-destroying suck demon” hahahaha!!! (the laughing is in my head, it’s 6:27 am and I’m still not awake yet.). This is timely for me, as I prepare to sub to a contest. And, yeah, that’s my sixth finished manuscript. And it’s the best EVAR. maybe…and you go have some Chubby Hubby. You need it. It’s also the best EVAR. Like my shiny new MS. I think…
Love your post, Maisey, especially since Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark is one of my favorite movies of all time. And yes, the doubt crows can suck it! xo
Jackie, I know you would. 🙂 I think revisions are generally only unappreciated later in the game, but I’ve gotten to the point where I see them as part of my process…and actually a fun part!
Aimee, someday my dear! And I’ll have to try Phish Food it sounds like..
Madeline, my pictures appreciate the support. Doubt Crows, from birth, are filled with lies, evil and decomposed bits of rat. Basically anything nasty and disgusting. Don’t listen to them.
Lacey, yeah, childhood stuff really does stick with you. I sweat, I look at it in the freezer case and think ‘overpriced’ and move on. Plus, my butt is also big enough. 😡 Am a cake girl anyway.
Becky, I have a CP who looks at hers…but I don’t look at mine. I’ll either start buying into my own genius again and not be receptive to revisions, or I’ll get wildly insecure!
Jessica, hang on to that wild enthusiasm. It’s the highs that carry you through!
Kate, I love that movie. We will not discuss the fourth one which really nuked the fridge. Doubt Crows? PAH! Who needs em? Not I.
Oh, the fourth one. Such a waste. Next time I see we’ll have to have an Indiana Jones quote-off. I’m good. I’m very, very good.
Sorry, that should have been see you.
I can’t wait to see you again! And the quote off shall have to happen. But I think I should be allowed to mix LotR quotes in there. “Don’t you leave him, Samwise Gamgee. And I don’t mean too. I don’t mean too.”
Omg, I love that line from LOTR! *weeps* Gets me every time!!!
[…] Why submission guidelines exist. Secrets Editors Want You to Know Paranoia Jones and my attempt at rational thought – Maisey Yates on that wait after submitting… […]