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September 3, 2011

Quoth the Doubt Crow: You Suck

It’s that time again! That time where I submit a manuscript I’ve done revisions on and I’m forced to *wait* and find out if I have OH HOLY CRAP messed up, or if I’ve done a reallyreally good job.

For some reason, I have a hard time distinguishing between OH HOLY CRAP messed up and reallyreally good job in my work. I thin that’s pretty common. But that inability to judge between the two leads to a whole lot of nail biting and angsting and, yes, cookie eating.

And before one knows it, one has a hoard of doubt crows descend down upon then ready to feast on the scorched remnants of their writerly soul. Leaving said writer, a quivery, treacly mass of goo and blech. (Side note, do you know why there’s always room for jello? Because is blobby formless mass. As am I, post submission)

I think, and I said this on the New Voices facebook page, that whether you’re on submission 1 or submission 50, some variant of this is still present.

But I did want to offer a glimmer of hope too. Because yes, I still feel skeered when I submit. I still wonder if I turned in an actual book or if I just wrote the word ‘Thor’ 50K times to meet word count and I dreamed all those fabulous things like character, plot and elephant rides.

BUT when I think back to that day I put my Very First Manuscript in that envelope and sent it across the pond, I remember how it felt. I was certain I would get a rejection. I was nervous. I was excited. It was all new and shiny and amazing.

And it’s still so many of those things. It feels new, and shiny and exciting, and yeah, scary, every time. But there are a few things that time and experience have given me. The assurance that I’ve done it before. And one of the biggest things: If it is a mess, I know now that I’ve honed the tools to fix it.

Because I *have* submitted books and had them come back to me saying (in a nice way) ‘keep the character names and that little bit of the set up and chuck the rest’. And that’s HARD and I always hope that’s NOT what I get back. But if I do, I don’t have to be afraid of it either.

None of us want to put something out there that could have been fixed, if we only would have put the work in. None of us want something published that could have gone from good to great if we just would have taken revisions on board.

Which means, as much as I get all skittish and frightened and occasionally have to be lured out from beneath the sofa with a Kit Kat bar while I’m waiting, none of the possible outcomes are really all that bad.

So yeah, as I said, sure the insecurity sticks around, but it does change. There’s a sense of empowerment in knowing you DO have the tools to make a MS work, and that what it takes is an objective eye and a willingness to put the work in to make it all HAPPEN. Every round of revisions, every submission, ever rejection, is adding to your tool box, giving you more control every time you start a new MS. And that’s a Good Thing.

Having said all that, here’s hoping one round of revisions was enough and I will be doing the double rainbow flying pony happy happy fun dance.

Oh, and also, I’ve decided this should be the writer’s theme song. 😀


Comments

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  1. That’s a great attitude for me to take on going into New Voices this month. The waiting last year was a painful blend of hope and despair. This year, at least I won’t be going it alone.

    Here’s wishing you a double rainbow flying pony happy happy fun dance!

  2. Maisey
    I have a flock of doubt crows orbiting around me as I polish a requested partial before sending.
    And the biggest doubt crow is questioning my ability to use POV.
    I’m not sure if its OK to ask for advice or not – if it isn’t please don’t feel you have to reply (I wouldn’t normally ask but its a big crow and its sitting on my desk staring at me)
    So here goes: Is it too much head hopping to go from his POV to hers and back to his in one chapter? Roughly 1000 words in his, 2000 in hers and back to his for 1000.
    And I do know that you will use those tools to nail any revisions and I hope you have a catapault to aim at those crows…
    Nina x

  3. Julia, you’re never alone in waiting despair. x Best of luck in New Voices!!

    Nina, of course you can ask questions! I’m a big believer in giving POV to the person who NEEDS the POV in a given moment. I limit it to the h and H, but I don’t do line breaks or anything. That said, I don’t think three changes is too many. I used to change back and forth a bit more often than I do now, but in my first submission I think I changed back and forth at least three times in the first chapter (that book was HIS VIRGIN ACQUISITION)

    I think as long as your clear on whose POV you’re in, you’re fine.

  4. Maisey
    THANK YOU!!
    I don’t have line breaks – it just seemed right for the POV to change within the chapter when it did. But then doubt set in. I feel much better now!
    I will now go and reread His Virgin Aquisition with a highlighter pen rather than just for sheer enjoyment!!
    Nina x

  5. Aww…thanks, Nina! 😀

  6. I LOVE that story! *fires gun at crows*

  7. *gives Jackie a cookie* *takes gun*

  8. […] I won’t get published hung with me for a couple weeks. Those “doubt crows” had descended, as Maisey Yates puts it. I think that at some point or another (maybe multiple points) every writer feels this way. It’s […]

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