Life and Other Dangers
It’s never safe to blog when you’re feeling emo and generally blah. I’m doing it anyway though. I’m having one of those perfect storm moments when hits in confidence come before a bad review and a hard day with kids. And I’m feeling right sorry for myself. Charming, right?
Things I feel like doing today:
1. Melting into a puddle
2. Hopping in the car with ladybug girl up there and driving off for a while
3. Eating a tub of ice cream while wailing about how tragic it all is
Today is hard mainly because my Danger Baby is sad and I don’t know why. I don’t know how to fix it, and a kiss doesn’t seem to be enough.
Usually he’s really happy, and the fact that we can’t really communicate verbally is okay. Even if he’s not that interested in us on a given day he’s usually pretty cheerful. But today he’s sad and I don’t know what’s bothering him. (Trying not to be a soppy mess even as I write this)
Today it all just feels sad and hard.
I think there are a lot of times in life like this. Whether it’s in parenting, or writing, or a job. Some days it all seems manageable, and things that aren’t perfect are okay. And other days it all sort of buries you beneath its weight. Even though I know it’s a temporary feeling, it still hurts to deal with.
This is one reason I value writing SO much. Because real life today is hard. I love my real life, and I love my kids more than anything, but tonight, no matter what’s going on, after they’re in bed at least I can go to my world for a while. My world where I have all the control. And even if things look dark for a while, I know it all turn out okay. Because it’s my world, and there, I’m in charge.
And the rest? One foot in front of the other. One day at a time. (And a happy family pic to remind me to smile!) 
This blog post morphed a little bit from the time I started it. But I was reminded by writing it why, even though at the moment I don’t feel like writing (I feel a bit too raw to do it, honestly!) it’s my happy place for a lot of reasons. Cuz, okay, Ladybug girl and I can’t really take off in the little blue truck, but I can escape for San Francisco for a little while tonight, if only on paper!
Thank God for it. (Don’t know if this post helped any of you, but it sure helped me!)
I want to share a song my hubby wrote a recorded too, because it’s on my mind now. Definitely something I need today!
I will also be collecting hugs from the hubby today! Guarantee it!
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One of Prudence’s favorite story books as a child was one where the parents kept repeating to the child “Today was a difficult day. Tomorrow will be better.” Sometimes that isn’t even true, but it still makes me feel better to remember it.
Some extra interwebs hugs for you, until you get the real thing.
*sniffles* Thank you, Julia.
I find that when my kids are a bit blue, if I tell them it’s okay to feel sad but to remember that no matter what I love them. I’m sorry that your danger baby is feeling a bit blue but it’s a great opportunity for us as parents to help them understand that we aren’t called to always be happy. We are called to know that we are loved. Hugs and squeezes from one mom to another. 🙂
Thanks Carla, things are looking better here and he has cheered up. 🙂
Maisey,
Thank you for writing so honestly about this. The bad days can be bad, but it’s nice to know we’re not alone.
Beautiful picture of your family by the way!
Jill, I’m glad it’s appreciated. It helped me sort through some of it. Reminded me of some good things too! We do all have bad days, bad moments, but it is something that everyone, no matter what stage of life they’re in, wrestles with sometimes.
And thank you! My family is awfully precious. 🙂
I love your husband’s song and it helped me today. I am also having one of those days. My danger baby is grown and that piece does get better. Unfortunately, I have become my own “50 First Dates”. Not quite that bad, but the kids refer to it often.
Writing is the perfect escape and I think San Fran is a lovely place to go to tonight. Not being able to escape into my writing like I used to is what has me so down today. I miss it terribly and am still fighting to get back there. I am reading a wonderful book on rehab for TBI and she has a quote she heard at a rally, no author for the quote. “We are not who were, but who are”.
Your post reminded me of this along with your husband’s song. It’s time to look forward and dig in at the ability any of us have and we will all be better for it.
Hugs to you and Danger
*hugs* Donna, I’m glad the song was helpful to you.
There’s a post a friend of mine did on writing again after chemo and the change in her process. I wonder if it might be interesting for you. http://loribenton.blogspot.com/2010/01/whatever-works.html
{{{hugs}}} Maisey. Glad your Danger Baby is happier now (read it on Twitter). It’s a weight off our hearts when our children are happy and well.
We just want to fix everything and not being able to sure does feel like crap. All we really can do is be there for our children because just by doing that alone, we’re already helping. That’s what I tell myself while I wait on standby for a bad day to pass.
Love the photo and the song. You and Haven make a pretty talented couple!
And hugs from me too. Life can be sucky all right. This week was my MIL’s funeral, and although it was a lovely service – it was still so sad. But it’s ok to be sad. And the good thing is we always have the love and support of friends and family. Hugs again. Caroline x
Awww Maisey, some days are just miserable. Bigs Hugs. I’ve just sent my 10 year old to his room for cycling directly into the path of a car today – I don’t know who was shaking more, me or him! x
Alexandra, he’s much improved today. Misbehaving as we speak! He also said ‘hewow’ today. 🙂
Aideen, knowing you has helped me so much through my parenting challenges. 🙂 we’ve been friends since Drama was having his horrid phase, and now you’ve helped me a bit through Danger’s issues too. Love you much!
Caroline, hugs to you. It’s never easy to lose someone, no matter the circumstances. So glad you had family.
Susan, you want to hug them and kill them when things like that happen!! Glad he’s okay. Kids, I tell you!
Thanks Maisey (and Haven) – its honest of you to share. I had a bit of a hard day too – the type where a trip to the supermarket takes on nightmare proportions and seems like the equivalent of slogging through miles of rough terrain. And I forgot to put any cookies in the trolley!!
Glad Danger Baby has cheered up.
Hugs
Nina x