Doubts
I have made for you, a small film, showing you how to handle doubt crows. Enjoy.
Okay, yeah, I promise I won’t quit my day job…
Really, if only doubts were just crows and we could PHYSICALLY beat them off with a frying pan. It would be easier than dealing with the un-physical stuff. Because changing how you feel is a whole lot harder than beating off a few, disgusting birds.
I’ve had a bad few ‘doubt’ days. That kind of thing happens to me when I’m waiting and my subconscious sends me emails from my editor in my dreams that say things like: ‘this is so bad, I’ve sent it around the office for a consult to find out what we can possibly do to make sense of this hash you’ve sent us.’ Yeah. My dreams are mean.
This leads to days like this: I sit down, ready to go. I open my WIP. I hate my WIP. I open another idea up. I hate that too. I open up another file…GAH!! **headdesk**
So I think, I need to fix my WIP…and start skimming it. Then I think, it’s not the WIP. It’s just me.
So what do you do? What do I do?
Sometimes, when it’s really bad, I just walk away for a while. Because my frame of mind is so defeated I’m not going to get anything done. That happened with this WIP. I felt like it was a totally unknowable mystery. I had a fun set-up in mind that my characters were at odds with so the first few chapters were like wading through molasses since I was doing the wrong things.
I didn’t know how to fix it though, because, well, I was so sure I sucked.
So I walked away. I watched Buffy. I ate ice cream. I took a shower. I FIGURED IT OUT! And then, suddenly I didn’t suck so bad anymore because I had solved the unsolvable problem! I didn’t even cheat. Back on up Captain Kirk!!
Other days it’s best to push through. Don’t read back over your writing until you’ve done your words for the say (a lot of people swear by Alpha Smarts for this very reason…and no, it’s not a hero generator, I thought it was too.)
But no matter how bad the doubts get…you just can’t believe them. Because we can so easily be our own worst enemies, either through inflated pride of crippling self-doubt. I so wish I could remember who said this on twitter the other day because I’d love to attribute it to them. They said not to be afraid of being honest about where you’re at.
Not being convinced you’re the best thing that ever happened to the world of writing. It’s good to feel like you can improve. I know I can. And have. But also, not being so hard on yourself that you scrutinize everything you do, that you tell yourself that everything you do is rubbish.
Sadly, it’s an ongoing battle. At least it is for me. But today, I’m determined to write through the fog of doubt crows. Ya with me?
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Maisey, I’m currently in the happy land of glitter and ponies – where everything’s fabulous and upbeat music plays – because I’ve got a new story. New characters. And, so far, there aren’t any problems. A new beginning is my reward for beating off the crows that lurk in droves at the end of every ms. I struggled with them last week. I didn’t have time to walk away, but I discovered that they eventually got tired and went to sleep… if I stayed up long enough, often enough. Of course they wake up in mega attack mode, but what you can get done while they’re not looking counts for a lot!
oops, forgot to say I love the video 🙂
Well, nice! Now I know how to handle the doubt crows!
I’m with ya! And I’ve officially adopted you as my little sister. What benefits comes w/ this one sided adoption I didn’t consult you about? None really. LOL. Loved the video and thank you for being honest about your doubt crows. Makes me feel less like a whiney loser to know I’m not the only writer that suffers from this.
Well, ya know, I have no problem with being honest about where I’m at. And I’m at where you’re at. In fact, I’m exactly the same when it comes to the crows. Everything SUCKS. Especially the things in with the editor right at the moment. Actually, I’m at the point where I can find solace in the WIP so at least I have that. Though that probably sucks now too. 🙂
That vid is classic. I foresee an Oscar coming your way. 😉
I have had days recently where I just walked away. I went for an actual walk, I read a ton, a messed around on Twitter. And then I had days when I didn’t have time to write much at all. I wasn’t even home much. Suddenly, it seemed a lot easier to push through those doubts.
But I’ll get my frying pan just in case…
Chelsea, enjoy the glitter and ponies! I know you were just in self-imposed deadline hell so this will be a nice break for you! Thanks, clearly I was a thespian in another life…also, it’s clear why I’m not still.
Nas, tennis rackets also work.
Emma, yesss!!! Do you think people will believe we’re sisters? Also, sharing helps me a lot. I’m just thankful all of you are here for me to bounce my crazy thoughts off of.
Jackie, If only it had released before The King’s Speech…things would have gone differently last night. I know you struggle right along with me. but all we can do is bury ourselves in our WIPS!
Julia, I think that’s a great idea. Take a walk! And yes, when time is a factor it’s easier to tap into that frantic ‘getitdonegetitdone’ mode.
Oh, girlfriend! You mentioned Buffy (So totally sad I missed the Spike/Angel debate -ahem, sorry Jackie, but Spike RULES!) and Captain Kirk and the kobayashi maru (no win scenario) – all in ONE blog post. I think I love you – but not as much as I love Spike!
I think the most difficult thing about the tough spots is I’m never really sure if I’m not trying hard enough or if I’ve made a wrong turn in the MS. When you get those lovely light bulb moments that solve a problem beautifully, they train you to believe you just have to work harder. But what if there won’t BE any light bulb moment, because you’ve gotten off at the wrong stop ie Suckville land?
Wish I had an answer. Your frying pan seems like a good one to me!
PS Love your short flick, def Oscar material.
Aimee, SPIKE!!! *dies* Also, yep. This MS has been the kobayashi maru for me. BLEAH.
Also, yes, those lightbulb moments…that’s always how I feel about them, because when they come, it’s like they drop on my head out of NOWHERE. I always wonder what might happen if they don’t hit…*eeks*
Ha! When you mentioned crow I thought you were talking about my mother in-law. 😉 Wait, now that I think about it, maybe you were. Can I borrow your frying pan?
I’m so with you this week – especially. I sent my stuff off and and I’m thinking right after I pressed the send button – she’s going to get this and shoot back an email asking me what the hell I’m doing cluttering up her inbox with my crap.
But then, my senses return and I head straight for the liquor cabinet. “Where’s the vodka?” 😉
Loved the shortie – reminded me of Nora Desmond: “I’m ready for my close-up Mr. Demille.”
M.
Wow! Your dreams are mean! Happy writing!
Murphy, behave! 😉 Yeah, I feel that way a lot too when I submit. But you know, that never happens. They’re pretty nice to me when I send them crap. XD
Lacey, my dreams are SO mean.