Nice Day For A Redneck Wedding
I live in Oregon. Yeah…Oregon. Some of you outside of the continental US may not have heard of it. It’s below Washington, the one with the vampires, not the one with the president, and above California (the one with the movie stars, but also redwoods and stuff) Anyway…I love it here. It’s beautiful.
That having been said, it’s an interesting mix of people around here. In our little corner of the state, there are rednecks, there are granola eating hippies, and then there are people who fall somewhere in the middle or are a strange mix of those two. You may not believe me, but it’s absolutely true. Classic example, one of my best friends is married to an avid hunter who drives a big truck. For their wedding, which my husband and I were in, the groomsmen posed with guns and cowboy hats for the picture. And my friend’s sister? She’s raw foodist who makes her own soap. See??
Anyway, I’m used to this kind of thing, but I saw something yesterday that will go down in history as the redneckiest thing I have ever seen.
A pick up truck pulled out in front of me last night when I was driving to Starbucks to get The All-Important Latte. A bride and groom were sitting in the back of the pick up, her veil streaming in the wind. (being a gentleman, he had of course draped his jacket over her shoulders) The groom was smoking a cigarette, just to complete the look.
And as we’re driving, I say to my mom and my husband, ‘Oh, it would be so funny if they pulled into 7-Eleven!!’ (for my international readers, 7-Eleven is a minute market. Home of the Big Gulp, soft pretzels and other convenience store type items).
I was totally kidding, no way, would they pull into 7-Eleven. And then they did. They totally did.
For what? Well, our theory was a 6pack of Bud, a 12 pack of contraceptives and maybe a couple hot dogs.
I think Jeff Foxworthy could use this: If you have your wedding reception, tailgate style, in the parking lot of a 7-Eleven…you might be a redneck.
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That’s funny! Thanks for sharing. : ) I’m just south of you, though I’m not a movie star (and don’t know any–though I ran into Axel Rose once. Not literally) No redwoods around here either, but lots of stuff. : )
Lynne
Hehe…yeah, well, the redwoods would be north of you. 😉
Didn’t realize we were neighbors, Lynne!
I’ve also heard of Oregon referred to as ‘Washington’s Mexico’ (Stephen Colbert) but then, you don’t see many of us trying to get across the border into Washington. “It doesn’t rain enough here!! We need to get to Seattle!” (although, the area I live in has more coffee shops per person than anywhere else in the US, so we might try to get to the Starbucks capital..)
Never mind the 7-11.
“If your ride from the church after your wedding is the back of a pickup truck…You might be a redneck.”
“If you have to get your wedding dress cleaned after the wedding because the butt has rust and manure stains…You might be a redneck.”
“If your wedding gets written up on somebody’s blog as a possible redneck wedding…There’s no doubt about it, you definitely are a redneck.”
LOL!!
If they won’t take your tux back at the rental place because it smells like cigarettes and gasoline…You might be a redneck.
The 7-11 was just a cherry on top of that ice cream sundae of crazy.
And I thought that groomsmen posed with guns and cowboy hats was just something that happened in the movies 😀
I reckon not, ma’am. We’re country.
Love it! Hate to tell you, but like starbucks, 7-11 taking over the world too. We even have em here in little ol Ireland…
How about:
If you where your cowboy boots with your wedding dress and chew gum at the altar, its a redneck wedding?
I did look at Wiki to see how widespread 7-11 was, but it didn’t list them in the UK, so I thought I’d be safe. 🙂 But at least Starbucks has something to offer the world!
I think a similiar phenomenon in Auckland would be the ‘westies’. They’re the ones that wear a black jumper (or AC/DC t-shirt) and jeans to a wedding, and bring along a 6 pack.
Ha! Yep. Westies sounds right. 🙂
Ah the redneck…
You should have followed them into the 7-Eleven to see what they bought. I’d put my money on beef jerky and a Big Gulp. 🙂
But also, condoms. I’m sure of it.
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Nice Day For A Redneck Wedding – Maisey Yates